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Christmas is actually one of my favorite holidays. I love the lights and glamour, the excitement, watching the hustle and bustle, the laughter and cheer. It's an exciting time of the year. Unless of course we start to feel the need to buy a bunch of stuff. Then well, Christmas becomes something else doesn't it. It becomes a part of the machine that's designed to distract us from the true experience of joy and happiness to ... taking our coin.
When that happens... we buy $1,500 iPhones, $1,200 tablets and PCs, and $700 purses with somebody else's damn name on it! That has always blown my mind. We buy some of the most expensive shit during this time of the year! We buy $500 play stations and $80 video games that keep our loved ones distracted and disconnected from us. We spend, spend, spend, and purchase whatever else we can put on our... damn near maxed out credit cards. We spend money we don't have and go into debt we can't afford. Why? Bottom line up front, because we still feel the need to collect "external" validation. It's okay, just recognize.
We are looking for someone else to tell us that we are enough. So, we "overspend." We overspend to avoid feeling guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed that we can't afford some shit! News flash, we can't ... afford some shit! And we are still...more than enough! If someone else, anyone else, man woman or child undoubtedly thinks you're not enough...then no spent money in the world will soothe that. I assure you, because it's not about you. Forgive me, I digress.
One of the problems here is that we have consciously or unconsciously followed the Drift into a place where we believe that unless we can keep up with and compete with one another we are of little value when the opposite is true. The truth is that we devalue ourselves by doing so. We buy shit knowing damn well we should never go into debt by "gifting" anyone anything because it is no longer a gift, is it? No ...it's a sacrifice. And the energy around that debt will haunt us long after the gift has been given. Yes? Yes.
Okay, so let's agree to create something new. This Christmas let's create a win-win. Here's how:
Inform your loved ones, particularly those that know ... you're Santa, that funds are limited to an amount that you know you can feel comfortable with (this is you winning). Inform them of the limit. For example, set an amount say $300. Ensure that they know the financial limit, then and only then, ask them to make a list of 7 things they really want (this is you both winning).
If you get push back, which is possible, run the naughty or nice game, reminding them of all chores that they didn't do, the bad grade they got in math etc. (this is where you both win again) because they know damn well, they don't deserve, haven't earned, don't need ... shit!). But you love them, and you want them to have "something" for Christmas. Right? Right. Don't be getting all weak and stuff. Be brave, remember what we agreed to.
And though, I would be remiss if I didn't add that telling them that you love them, the energy of a tender touch on the arm or shoulder from time to time is priceless. Letting them know you're proud of them is priceless, and something they may never ask for or put on their list. Some of us know what I mean because we didn't ask for those experiences either though they may have been "secretly" on our list. It would be a gift that would go much further than anything you could ever buy. A gift that could last a lifetime. But, again, I digress.
For the adults, do something for them this Christmas. For example, create a gift card that offers:
To keep the kids for a weekend, or,
Maid services for a month or,
To take the dog for a walk for the week or,
To bake (not buy) their favorite cake, pie, or other pastries or,
To cook their favorite meal or,
To babysit the kids for 3 Fridays of their choosing (within the next 2-months) or,
To pick up (not purchase) groceries three (3) times (within the next 2-months) or,
To drive them to and from work for a week or,
To do something that they really don't like to do but must.
Feel into it. Offer something that you can personally do for them. That would be a memorable gift for sure and a definite win-win.
Okay, so that's it. That's my Christmas blog.
The next one is entitled, "This New Year...Let's be Selfish." Subscribers, you will get it first and directly into your email. No worries.
In the meantime, Merry Christmas everybody. Create a Christmas where everybody wins.
Until next time.
Be well.
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