You did not come into this world to "fit in" but to be in the beautifully unique expression of you. What if you never fit in? Would you cease to exist? No. You would be a better you. To be flawless - where's the fun in that? To be perfect - there is no such thing. I mean what does human perfection even look like? To be normal - compared to whom? Compared to what? Give that a minute.
Everyone you meet has a unique difference, their own "special kind of beautiful." For example, my attention span can be very short, but it affords me the opportunity to get many things done at one time, effectively. Some would label my short attention span a form of attention deficit disorder (A.D.D.). I call it...damn right! Cause I get shit done! And that's a beautiful thing.
There are times when I can be so detached from what's happening in this world that some might call it a form of derealization (feeling that other people and things are separate from you). And I call it...damn right! Cause I was born to focus on the life that I have been given. To figure this life out for myself. To focus on "my" life, not the life that the world tells me to live. No one should forfeit their lives, especially not on purpose, to be a part of the Drift (the designs and trappings of this world). No one.
Self-diagnosis and labeling ourselves some level of crazy is the "going thing" these days. I get it, conceptionally, because one of the hardest things to do in this life is to be yourself...truly. The trappings of the world have taught us to fear being an outcast. We fear being misunderstood (my favorite). We fear being different. We fear ourselves. We fear that we are not good enough. We fear we are unworthy. We fear being judged wrongly. Physically we compare ourselves in every way to the agreed upon idea and description of how we should look even if it isn't natural or in our DNA. Yet we try...for most of our lives we try to fit into another's image. Never minding the gift of our own ancestors, whose blood flows through our veins, whose cells are active in our bodies. No. We ignore that for the most part and choose to pattern ourselves based on someone else's ancestry. Now that's insane. But I digress.
Like ghosts in a machine, we are always looking out at the world and what's going on around us. To be able to compare oneself to another, one would have to be looking at oneself from somewhere else. Yes? That's real stuff. It's a part of the complexity of our human and/or spiritual design. Think about it, through your own consciousness you can remove yourself from the Drift (the designs and trappings of the world), stand outside of it and look back at it. You can see it in motion. Literally watch it play out. You can watch yourself watching it. You can even participate in it and not be of it. To be able to do that is a beautiful thing because it says that there is still enough of you...in you...to know the difference between that reality and you. Some might call this a form of depersonalization (feeling like an "observer"). I call it natural and within the power of you, and that's a beautiful thing.
If many of us are continuously self-diagnosing (which is different from self-analyzing) and labeling ourselves in a way that says there is something wrong with us, that we are broken, that we need to be fixed, in truth aren't we really saying that we can't seem to fit into the designs of the world? And if so, is that so wrong? We spend so much time trying to fit in, trying to be accepted, in a world that is not designed to accept us. It is designed to feed itself. Period.
Yet, we continuously run from our differences, our uniqueness, our ancestry, our special kind of beautiful. We spend far too much time running from ourselves so that we can fit in to another's idea of who we should be. Then on day we wake up and find that we've lost our sense of Self. We don't know who we are or why we are. Our lives have not been our own. We are confused and think that something is wrong with us. So, now we've got to spend just as much time, even a lifetime, if not more, getting back to our original sense of Self. Getting to a place where we can live this life, appreciate ourselves just as we are. We get to the point where we realize that we were born to be in the experience of the Drift...but not belong to it. In other words, be in the world, but not of it.
Instead of claiming what's wrong with you...trust in what's right with you. Right because YOU say it is right. Right because the you that you're running from, has gotten you this far. Right because you care that much about you. Right because you're capable and worthy of the life that you've been given. Right because you are an ever evolving you with a life that will often be filled with trial and error, mis-stepping and self-correcting. Know that part. Life is about figuring it all out. And you will, you're doing it every day. I promise.
And finally, there is not a thing...wrong with you. There is only...the Essence of You and that, my friend, is a special kind of beautiful.
Be at peace. Be brave. Dare to be YOU.
DISCLAIMER
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Coaching is not professional counseling, therapy nor a mental health service. I do not imply, infer, or attempt to fix, heal, or cure grief. Some conditions may require a consultation and referral from/to a licensed physician or mental health professional. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please call 911 or 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
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