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Let's Be Selfish II

Writer's picture: Valerie FrazierValerie Frazier

Updated: Jan 24

Letting Go of The Lie


This year, we get to be selfish. We get to let go of the lies that we've been telling ourselves. We get to drop the armor, put down the sword, and the shield. We get to get naked to the world, and to ourselves. We get to be about continuing to love on others, take care of others as we naturally do, added to it though is that we get to laser-focus our attention on who we are, where we are, why we are, when to level-up, how to embrace our special kind of beautiful, and focus on the fact that we are here ... on purpose. This year we don't have to, we get to ... take the steps required to raise our own consciousness around the space of our own existence "independent of" any other person, family, friend or foe. Yes, this year we are getting selfish because ... it's time.


As a woman, and a certified coach, what I've experienced is that many of us are managing some internal shit. Many of us have got some childhood trauma, teenage trauma, some recent trespasses, some significant emotional events that have created unhealthy habitual thoughts. These thoughts have led to unresolved emotions, that in turn have led to unhealthy behaviors. Some of this shit has been going on for so long that we don't know where it began. Some, we know exactly where it came from. Much of it has led to the imbedded idea that we are unworthy, not enough, that we don't matter, we are insignificant, that we should feel guilty or ashamed of shit that we had little or no control over. They are all lies that we tell ourselves. It isn't real. Like living as a victim, it's a narrative. It's some made-up shit that we have not only agreed to, but have forfeited too much of our time, too much of our lives, on many levels, and in a myriad of ways, in support of. But today, on this leg of our life's journey, we get to deactivate that shit. On purpose ... we get to let go of the lie.


In the soul of who we are, we know that we are more. We know that we are deserving of joy, peace, and happiness. We have worked hard for it. But ... we have bitten into the apple of somebody else's unresolved shit, even the world's unresolved shit and have chosen to make it our own. It is not ours to own. Perhaps we believe we are in control of Life's unfolding, but we are not. We cannot push the river. Perhaps we believe that we don't matter, but we do. We are making a difference just by being here. Perhaps we think we are invisible, but we are not. Perhaps we feel guilty about some shit that happened last week, last month, last year or many years ago, something that we had no earthly control over. Perhaps we have done something shameful whatever the hell that is, and we have not forgiven ourselves. But who the hell else matters, who is more important than you at the end of the day? We will not be ashamed; we will learn from it and choose to move forward. We will no longer linger in guilt or shame ... for that is not ours to own. They are but a lie, an anchor in shallow water; we will not own it; we will raise the anchor and sail into life's calm blue waters ... on purpose.


Our purpose is to live a life filled with up-lifting choices and choose them because we realize that we are meant to be here (https://www.wetalkingrief.com/post/you-are-meant-to-be-here). Every day we are choosing to be here, and every day we take a stand for it. Our purpose is to be in love with the life we're living. Our purpose is to live in the abundance of goodness, and to continuously make room for it. Our purpose is to interrupt ... the emotional patterns that overshadow our goodness, to disrupt ... the thoughts that create them and create new and empowering patterns. That is our purpose.


So, no more living in the shadows of who you are meant to be. You are more than worthy of all of the goodness that life has to offer. You are more than enough; your life struggles have already proven it. You definitely matter, look at the difference you've made and are still making for yourself, for someone or something else. With just a smile, you are making a difference, you change the vibrations of the world. Put away the guilt, because you've lived there long enough. We could all think of something that, with the knowledge that we have now, we would have done differently. We can only do what we know. Let go of the shame because the heavens ... they comfort you.


The distance between you and everything you need ... is your story ... and your interpretation of it. Recognize the power of the story you tell ... especially to yourself when you're alone. Be not in judgment of it, for it is just a story. Accept it as is. IF the story that you are living in creates disharmony, then choose to change it. It is within the power of you to do so. I promise.


Feel where your life is "consistently" out of alignment with your goodness. Take note, but don't give it meaning, not just yet. Don't empower it, just observe it. Then when it feels right, and it will, consider ways that, within the spirit of who you are, you can turn it into joy, peace and harmony. How will you need to reinterpret the story? What story will you need to tell that will make it so? It only takes a small correction of the wheel. Just a wee bit of tweaking. If you can't do it on your own, if you need assistance, I'm here.


Every night before you go to sleep, or every morning before your feet hit the floor, whisper aloud something that you are grateful for, big or small, seen or unseen, for ... Life ... is listening.


This year, we are letting go of the lies that we tell ourselves. I promise.


May Oneness, infinite and ever-expanding goodness be your experience always.


NOTE:

To subscribers, from here I will only send you blogs from the categories of New Beginnings and Coping to Thriving. This year we are on the spiritual journey that awakens the God in us. We will grieve if we must, but with a new consciousness. We are about the soul of who we are, no holds barred.


To nonsubscribers, I send you individual blogs because I have met or spoken with you and there was something in the soul of who you are, something in your words, in our conversation that encouraged me to forward certain blogs to you, but no more. If you are interested in continuing to receive the messages in my blogs, then you must go to the website and subscribe so that you can receive them automatically.


To those that are grieving the absence, the loss, of someone or something that truly matters, please seek comfort in the blog category We Talkin' Grief, I will meet you there.


Thank you everyone for reading, sharing, and liking the messages in my blogs, they encourage me to do more. With much love and respect.


Val


DISCLAIMER

I am a certified life and grief coach. I am NOT a professional counselor, a therapist nor a mental health practitioner. I do not imply, infer, or attempt to fix, heal, or cure grief. Some conditions may require consultation and referral from/to a licensed physician or mental health professional. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please call 911 or 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

 




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