Memories are what keep our loved ones alive. Because we remember them, they will never die.
It's tough enough being in an experience such as this ever-changing game called life. Being beautifully multifaceted and fluid enough to flow with it, shifting, learning, adapting, evolving...is what wins the game.
We have more than 60,000 thoughts a day, most of them are the same thoughts that we had the day before, week before, year before. So often, we don't know where our minds are going to go, where they are going to take us. And sometimes, we get overwhelmed and can't get out of our head; we fall into memories, thoughts, emotions, feelings. This is life. Constantly changing, constantly challenging us to get out of the drift.
Sure, there will always be something that will trigger thoughts of those that have left this life (died). We will always have memories of them. We will feel them through the memories. We will be present in the emotions that it all brings. Yes, this will happen from time to time, it's normal, but we can't linger there. They wouldn't want us to. Besides, we can't change anything that has already happened. Be what we can do is seek what is meant to be the lessons learned. There are lessons. This thing didn't happen "to you" it happened "for you." It's an awakening of something deep within.
"It is in our darkness where we grow the most. There would be no light if we didn't have a context for darkness."
Victim is a narrative. It's a story that you tell yourself and others. Depending on how you tell the story is what makes you or breaks you. Look instead for what's been added to our life. Don't bind yourself to what's been taken away. It can be tough, sure, but it's doable. Actually, it's required.
Ask Life...what are you trying to tell me? What lesson is this for me? Ask often...and be open to receive the answer. It will come.
I ask you, how have you become through it all? Stronger, clearer, more purposeful, more thoughtful, more loving, more attentive? Have you learned to become still, more creative, kinder, softer? How are you treating yourself?
Experience what was for you to have, absolutely. Be in the experience but see through to what the experience can do for you. That's how you turn the tide. Use that to create something new. Have memories, yes, be in the past a bit, sometimes your mind won't let you do otherwise, but you don't have time to linger there, because you will miss the NOW. Besides, this is still your life...too...and Life...is lifin. It is still unfolding.... with you in it. You don't have time to linger. What's important is where to go from here while on your way to making the most of the life you've been given.
Let's change the way you feel. Let's create something new. In the meantime,
Be kind. Be good to yourself. Be well.
DISCLAIMER
Coaching is not professional counseling, therapy nor a mental health service. I do not imply, infer, or attempt to fix, heal, or cure grief. Some conditions may require a consultation and referral from/to a licensed physician or mental health professional. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please call 911 or 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Thank you.
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