Shadows of Grief

We are all here for a time and then we leave. That's hard to grasp at times ... but it must be true ... evidently.

The souls of people we love, our souls, walk away from this life no matter what happens to cause it. We ... those that are left behind, are here to be a witness to their departure. We are left to grieve, to know that there is a level of love, a special kinda of love, that we never knew we had until we were left in the shadows of their absence.

Sometimes my ideas about this waiver, but I always come back to the same. We are all here just for a moment. Our soul knows this ... even if our intellectual consciousness does not.

Before my son Jason left this life he told me that he would be shot and killed when he was 25. He was only 5 years old at the time that he told me this. Imagine, what a soul knows at 5 years old. 60 days after his 25th birthday he was murdered, shot and killed.

About 9 months after our son Jason left this life, late one evening Charles called and asked when I was coming back to Saginaw to visit. I told him, maybe in June. He said, "that would be too late." Approximately 1 month later, on a Sunday, Charles left too, of a massive heart attack. At the time, I was grieving so hard for our son Jason, and I was due to be at the trial for Jason's murder in just 4 days. I heard Charles' cryptic message, but it didn't register until much later. I didn't grieve for him, until years later.

Two (2) weeks before my brother Jackie left this life, he told our mother that he was going to drown in the Saginaw River. Mom said that she thought he was talking "foolishness." She ignored him. I received a call, while living in Germany, that my brother had drowned ... in the Saginaw River. Good swimmer though he was, he still drowned because fishing wire entangled him and would not let him go. At the time, he was my most favorite person in the whole world, my big brother, my savior, my hero. The Red Cross sent me home from Germany to Saginaw. It pained me to see my brother lying there so still and so quiet, so still and so quiet that it couldn't be him. He was no longer animated, his spirit, his intelligence, his personality so gentle, so warm, and so light must have ascended while his body drowned in that river. He was 46 when he left.

One day while in my garage, many years later, Jackie appeared before me. I turned around and he was standing there all lit up and healthy looking, looking directly at me and I at him. Then he smiled and I smiled back for what seemed like an eternity. Then he vanished right there in front of me. He left again. But it was so good to see him, to feel the presence of my brother again.

Charles has yet to come to me, but I know he is fine. I just know it. He missed his mother so.

It took Jason a number of years to visit me. He came in a dream. Laid his head on my lap and reminded me that I was a "good" loving and caring mother though there were times when I thought not.

No one sees or experiences grief the way you do. When a person leaves this life, it is your unique experience and yours alone, though others may be affected by the love and absence of that person too.

We are all imprinted differently based on the relationships that we had with them. We love differently; we grieve differently. There is absolutely no right or wrong way. It is our experience to have, we must allow it to be so, for we are all witnesses to their presence and their absence.

I leave you with this, if a loved one comes to you, as mine did me, whether in a vision, or in a dream, don't blow it off. It's real. They care more for us in the realm of soul consciousness than even they knew was possible. They want us to know that they are alright and they'll see us later, when we have done all that we came to do, though we know not what or when that is.

In the meantime:

Be patient with yourself and with others.

If you must grieve ... be gently in the shadows.

Remember that we are all only here for a moment.

https://www.wetalkingrief.com/post/the-gift-of-letting-go

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